AIG Outrage Fatigue + the Fbomber Predicts Tits, Ass, Cock, Balls.

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Well, Now We Know How to Spark A Rally

The election of a President who doesn't have his head lodged in his own ass. Result: Stock prices fall.
Passing a massive economic stimulus plan within a month. Result: The stock market continues to fall.
Pouring and promising trillions of taxpayer dollars without questions or conditions into struggling financial firms. Result: Yet more stock price falling.

A failing bank's CEO writes a memo saying, in essence, that except for all the worthless assets on their books and reliance on government subsidies for survival*, the bank was doing, well, okay. Result: Jubilation in the Street and stock prices climb for four days straight.

Maybe we've been going about this economic turnaround wrong all along. Forget about anti-cyclical Keynesian spending, subsidizing financial firms and instituting regulatory reform. What we've needed all along are simply better memos.

*You've got a bullet in your chest, and a machine is doing your breathing for you, but, hey, your cholesterol level looks great!

13 Year Old Conservative Wunderkind

Right Wingers are agog over this CPAC speech by 13-year-old Jonathan Krohn, in which Krohn defines conservatism.

It really is quite impressive. This kid has managed to become a Republican jerkoff before he is actually physically able to jerk off.