So casino-bankrupting Donald Trump narrowly avoided getting his hair forcibly cut off in the most recent Wrestlemania.
No surprise there. There is no way that the Donald would --- or should --- ever let anyone alter even a single follicle of that magnificent do. Though others might want to pour scorn on DT's rusty locks, in the fbomber's humble opinion, that hairstyle is the stroke of genius that has allowed Trump to have the absurd amount of fame, wealth and hot-ass-model-pussy that he has wallowed in for the last two decades.
That complicated comb-over, or to be more accurate, comb-forward-and-over-and-back has served its owner in two vital ways.
First, as a trademark. How many other real estate developers can you name and picture in your head? Unless you work in that field, or have an extraordinarily bizarre sexual fetish, that number is zero. Trump came from a boring, staid business and wound up as a genuine American celebrity, and his unique and memorable appearance played a big part in that
Secondly --- and this is where the genius comes in --- his hair serves him by making him look buffoonish and ridiculous. that's right, I said serves him.
Here's why. People cannot feel envious of and superior to someone at the same time.
As a rich man who clearly loves flaunting his wealth, Trump is bound to attract a considerable amount of envy. Sure, this is supposed to be a nation that worships success and money and those who achieve it, but there's also a lot of resentment too.
Furthermore, Trump's personal qualities, individually and as a whole, make him a profoundly unlikable individual.
He's loud. He's a braggart. He's pushy. He's a blowhard.
Under normal circumstances, someone like this would be violently expelled from the public eye. Sure, he would be rich, ad successful, and landing his private helicopters on his estate's lawn. But he would be doing it privately, like every other developer in the world. If he ever did, for some reason, make it into the public eye, the average person would see him as some undeservingly rich, boring dick. Who, if anything, arouses feelings of hostility.
But with the haircut, a different dynamic emerges. The haircut makes Donald Trump look ridiculous. Like some clueless, arrogant, pathetic douchebag without a sense of how out of touch he is.
The average person sees that and immediately feels superior to the Donald. "Sure" Average Person says, "I may not have millions, or models, or TV contracts but at least I don't look stupid like that."
This feeling of superiority effectively short circuits the negative feelings someone might have towards a standard-issue rich arrogant prick. To the Average Person, Trump is a clown, a buffoon, a laughing stock. There is no need to feel hostility for someone like that. On the contrary, the average person can condescendingly tolerate Trump, snickering to themselves at him the whole time.
And while they are snickering, Trump is sucking up the TV time, the attention and all the dollars it brings his brand. Millions and millions of them every year.
Furthermore, the coif signals a certain amount of naivete and lack of self awareness. Though this signaling is false, it effectively creates a sense of trustworthiness towards Trump. "Surely," Average Person thinks, "someone who is so clueless as to walk around looking like that all day long, must also be too clueless to try to be duplicitous or ruthless."
It's a formula that has worked for him for 20 years.
Why else would he look like that? Trust me, he's had plenty of people bring up the hairstyle with him. Stylists, PR professionals, interviewers, writers... the guy has been married to a string of superficial, appearance obsessed MODELS for Christ's sake. He is aware of the hair issue.
He knows what he's doing. Strategically choosing to look like an asshole on his own, superficial, terms to avoid being called an asshole for real, substantive, reasons. Let's just call it being a genius.
