Voting Day. And a Strange Compulsion

Since I will be out of town on Tuesday, I went to the County Registrar's Office in Norwalk to vote early.

After a one hour drive and a three hour wait, I finally got into a voting booth with a numbered ballot in front of me.

For just an instant, I had a powerful temptation to vote for John McCain. A temptation so strong that I actually envisioned myself filling in the numbered oval that corresponded to the McCain/Palin ticket.

This sudden compulsion unnerved me. I would never have imagined that a perverse thought could consume me so, even briefly. This strong and unexpected vision made me understand why people are tempted to have other people piss on them or fuck barnyard animals. A person can get a very real and illicit thrill from doing something that violates a deep, ingrained moral conviction. There is no arguing the fact that breaking a taboo is exciting.

Still, I didn't do it.

Vote for John McCain, that is.

I did let someone piss on me, though. And fucked a barnyard animal tonight. In fact, I sexually ravaged an entire petting zoo. Including a mohair goat, a Vietnamese potbelly pig, and an extremely well-hung Shetland pony. Then I had my exertion-spawned sweat hosed off by the urine of a homeless man who has been eating nothing but asparagus and B vitamins the last three days.

A man has to get his kicks where he can.

But vote Republican? Hey, I'm not some kind of sicko.