In an election result that was called a political earthquake, the residents of Massachusetts collectively marched over to Ted Kennedy’s grave and dropped a huge steaming turd on his headstone by electing a dully handsome Republican douchebag named Scott Brown for Teddy’s old, whiskey-soaked, Senate seat.
Like so many earthquakes, this political plate-buckling was followed by a tsunami. In this instance the tsunami consisted of a gigantic, liquid wall of bloviation from political “thinkers” of every description.
For these thinkers, the election of Scott Brown in Massachusetts was not about the voters of Massachusetts preferring a moderately attractive person who really, really, really wanted the job over a dried-up boring old prig who couldn’t bother to remove the stick from her ass and campaign for it.
No, to these pundits, the election was a Message.
That Message, funnily enough, seemed to echo whatever the political thinker had been thinking, and saying, all along. To Fox News, the Message was that Massachusetts voters were rallying against Obama’a Liberal Marxist Totalitarian Crusade to reform health care. To the centrists in the Democratic party, as personified by Rahm Emmanuel, the Message was that Obama needed to hew ever more closely to the center. To the Liberals of the blogosphere, the Message was that Obama had not been liberal or activist enough, and had depressed the progressive and independent support that had put him into office in the first place.
To the fbomber, the Message was simpler: We are fucked.
By we, the fbomber refers not only to his own demographic of late-30-something, perennially-underemployed, quasi-homeless, pseudo-intellectuals who aspire to careers in show business despite a lack of talent or effort. The fbomber refers to the entire United States of Fucking America.
We are all fucked, because we’re all in the same boat, that boat is sinking, the sharks are circling, and the passengers are putting the same crew of dimwits that ran us into the shit-berg right back into the wheelhouse.
Remember, fbombers, you read it here first. Unless the Republicans do something extraordinarily --- no, make that Palin-ically stupid ---- like run a retarded one-half-term governor for President, or the Democrats do something extraordinarily brave* --- like actually enact real health care, financial, trade, tax, military and entitlement reform --- we will be back to one-party, Republican rule by 2012 at the latest.
The fbomber doesn’t base this prediction on any polls or surveys or findings whatsoever. He bases it on the simple observation that the Mean people are back in the game. And the Mean people tend to win, except under extraordinary circumstances.
In an earlier post, the fbomber posited a theory of politics that divides people into quadrants based on where they fall on the two axes of Intelligence and Empathy. For a refresher, visit this posting.
As of early 2010, Obama and the Democrats have simultaneously managed to inflame to Mean people, especially the Stupid ones, into action and to depress the Nice people into a disappointed torpor.
The 2008 election was extraordinary because the Mean people, both Smart and Stupid, sat on their hands. The chronic and flagrant bungling of the Republicans from 2000-2008 in every area from controlling spending, to starting and waging wars was so obvious that even the most vicious and idiotic of America’s great Moronic Masses could not sign up for another four years of the same.
However, as the 1985 Emilio Estevez teen-punk-greaser film states: That Was Then… This Is Now. Now, the Mean --- Smart and Stupid --- are back.
And why not?
After all, it has been a full year since the Republicans skipped town after bankrupting the country, dismantling the government, shredding the constitution, breaking the military, flaunting international law, embarrassing our nation and committing us to ongoing, multi-year and multi-trillion dollar debacles on Wall Street, Iraq and Afghanistan.
A year is a long, long time to expect someone to remember something that they never wanted to know in the first place. So the mouth-breathers of America have completely forgotten who has inflicted all this pain on us. Now, according to conventional wisdom --- aka what people who don’t think about things think about things --- Obama owns all those problems himself.
And the mouth-breathers are pissed off at him for them. Hence the Tea Party movement, a group which appears to be --- more than anything else ---- motivated by a simple hatred of paying taxes. And, by extension, everything those taxes pay for, except for the things that explode and kill poor brown people. **
At the same time time, Obama, his inner circle of advisors and Democrats in general have managed to depress and disgust the Smart and Nice and Stupid and Nice people. These people wanted something different from the eight years of incompetence, deficits, wars and governance transparently dictated by rich corporations. And Team Obama simply did not deliver.
On the most pressing issues --- the crashing economy, health care reform and reining in the out-of-control financial industry --- Obama delegated both vision and substance to an obviously lobbyist-owned Congress. On the one issue that Obama did take responsibility for --- the war in Afghanistan --- he chose a George W. Bush-esque escalation, complete with a speech about Evil and the world and the need to defeat it with unarmed predator drone strikes.
The worst that you can say about his is that he never intended to bring change or fulfill hope in the first place. That he is a fake liar bullshit artist who tricked Progressives into electing him, in order to sell them out to the corporate and militarist power elite. That’s the worst.
The best isn’t much better. At best, he is either a) incompetent. b) competent but constrained by the realities of a dismantled apparatus of governance, an unforgivingly tight budget, a compromised Democratic party and vindictively obstructionist Republican minority.
Neither one of those things is the kind of slogan that will get Democrats’ hearts racing again. “Come on, support our guy! He’s just either clueless or trapped!” doesn’t even rhyme.
So exactly why will the voters reject the Democratic Party’s style of slow-motion, reluctant slide into disaster and choose the the Republican’s reckless gleeful drunken plunge into the shit?
Quadrant by Quadrant:
Smart & Nice. This is the heart of the Democratic party. Without this group passionately excited, activated and engaged, nothing happens for the Democrats. This group needs to be shown that Obama can and will deliver the things he promised on the campaign trail. Like at least ONE from the following list:
1) Real Health Care Reform, not some Senate-Clusterfuck-Corporate-Compromise bullshit. This means some sort of Public Option, period.
2) Tough, fair, strict, strategic financial regulatory reform. Smart & Nice people are motivated by a desire for fairness above all. Having one already rich and powerful industry get more riches, breaks, bailouts and exemptions from the rules of both Law and Economics isn’t acceptable. The financial industry needs to be made to serve the economy as a whole, not the industry itself.
3) Investments in Jobs Now That Create Smart Growth Later. America needs jobs now and a Green Economy Infrastructure for later. A national electrical grid. A network of plug-in hybrid charging stations.
4) Fairer Trade. American workers are among the most productive and efficient in the world. Yet we compete on price with nations who do not offer protections to their workers or environment. And who manipulate their nations’ currency to create a pricing advantage. Surely we could quantify the artificial, unfair advantages that these nations offer and create a tariff that removes that unfair edge. To reduce that tariff to zero, the nations would simply need to stop their unfair practices.
5) Energy Independence.
Unfortunately, the chances of Obama and the Democrats accomplishing any of these things considering A) A unified Republican opposition in a Senate which can be paralyzed by 41 nay-sayers B) Democrat’s own stomach-turning spinelessness, cowardice, greed, corruption, and treachery C) The raging torrent of corporate money directed at maintaining the status quo --- is just about zilch.
Nice & Dumb.
If the Smart & Nice crowd could be sufficiently energized, the Nice & Dumb crowd would follow. So forget that.
Mean & Smart.
Democrats cannot ever convert the Mean people. All they can hope is to neutralize. In 2008, Obama did this by allowing his campaign to be financed by the financial industry, and surrounding himself with people who would ensure that the financial industry would be taken care of.
IF the economic pie were still growing --- no matter how fake and toxic its filling --- Obama could continue to let the plutocracy gorge their ever larger slices, while the lower 98% of America enjoyed the crumbs and napkin-stains.
But now Obama has a dilemma. He needs to reform the financial industry to prevent another economic collapse, not to mention establish some sort of credibility as a President who actually does his job.
So he is going to lose the plutocrat’s bought-off neutrality. In fact, he already is.
Mean & Dumb.
These are the foot soldiers for the regression of the American experiment into some sort of corn-pone fascist banana republic. These hateful morons sat out the election in 2008, but --- as evidenced in Massachusetts, are agitated and gaining the political equivalent of retard strength by simply offering hurting, pissed off stupid people a chance to lash out at everyone but the people who caused their pain.
Their anger, combined with the Smart & Mean money seals the deal for the Republicans in 2010 and 2012, unless one specific thing happens: They manage to do something so stupid that they fuck it all up for themselves to do that for you. Luckily, they do that pretty consistently. Like vote for Ross Perot in 1992. Like take over the Republican primary put someone far too unelectable up for office, like they did in upstate New York with that ridiculous carpetbagger Hoffman guy.
Which is where Sarah Palin comes in. As someone who isn’t interested in reliving 2000-2008, but with even less money and international prestige, I can only hope that the Palin juggernaut continues to gain steam, that her supporters overwhelm the Republican primary and that she runs for President in 2012. Whatever Obama’s failings, the very thought of the babblings of that half-wit harridan coming from the Oval Office would instantly convert every quadrant but Mean and Stupid into banner-waving Democrats in about half-a-second.
* If the current crop Democrats ever did anything extraordinarily brave then all our problems would be solved anyway. Because if that happened enough winged pigs would fly out of enough asses that we could harness their collective flapping power to replace fossil fuels forever.
** The fbomber does not like paying taxes himself. And does not expect anyone to. But he has traveled abroad, and notes that the countries that spend money on themselves tend to be nicer than the countries that don’t. And the fbomber wants to live in a nice country.
Showing posts with label Obama. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Obama. Show all posts
Tuesday, February 09, 2010
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Obama's Slow Reveal
Though I fully intend to vote for Barrack Obama, I’m nothing at all like a True Believer.
For me, a vote for Barrack is a vote against John McCain and the Republican party. That is enough.
For some reason I don’t get a warm and tingly feeling in my tummy when I listen to Barrack speak. Never have. Even though so many of the people who I agree with and love and respect do get that feeling.
Truth be told, listening to him speak actually makes me like him less. He seems too good, too earnest, too squeaky-clean and upright and honorable to be true. I got a bit excited when I learned, early in the primary, that he smoked cigarettes. “Yes” I thought, “a flaw. Something dirty and stupid and self-destructive and weak. How he's more like me. Now I can relate.” Then he quit smoking.
Maybe I’m cynical, or simply too morally compromised myself to recognize a genuine idealist when I see one. But when I am listening to one of his speeches --- or attempting to read one of his books --- it just sounds too much like myself when I’m trying to impress an old lady.
And I think even the most fervent supporter should be able to admit --- even if only privately, in the secrecy of their own Prius with all the windows rolled up --- that if someone doesn’t get that tingle from Obama's words, then Obama doesn’t offer a whole lot else.
His resume, though impressive in its accomplishments, is thin. Let's just be honest and admit that.
If the Republicans have gotten traction out of any message, it is that we don’t know who this guy is. Because we don’t. He hasn’t been around for decades to become a known and familiar quality.
He spoke at the Democratic Convention in 2004, won the Senate Race in 2006 and didn't really get scrutinized until Spring of 2008.
What’s more, even as we have seen him, we still don’t know him. His policies are vague, amorphous promises to do everything good and nothing bad. His political philosophy is middle-of-the-road, let's-bridge-differences, can't-we-all-get-along blandness.
During his tightly-scripted campaign appearances, he hasn’t revealed much of psyche to us. Ever. Nothing seems to to jangle his nerves or dislodge that smile. Not once has emotion --- joy, frustration or anger --- get the better of his self-control in some sort of physical way. No tears. No pulsing veins in the temple. No spontaneous fist-pumps. Not when his old pastor stabbed him in the back. Not when he went to visit his “gravely ill” grandmother. Not when he accepted the freaking Democratic nomination for the President of the United States.
Compared to the incredible mass of tics and grimaces and eyerolls that McCain has become, this calm is reassuring. But still, Obama’s calm affability keeps his character hidden from us, as does his campaign's SuperGlue adherence the official campaign message.
That’s why, for me, the campaign is doubly important. Not only does it hopefully move a Democrat into the White House, but it gives us a real --- so far the only real --- insight into how Barrack Obama operates.
And I like what I see so far.
Like how he has tricked McCain and turned him into a whining crying little bitch-baby.
From Politico.com
I fucking love it. To somehow get the Republican party candidate to voluntarily give up the one advantage it perennially has --- the ability to raise lots of cash. That’s awesome.
And to see McCain reduced to whining about it to Larry King. Delicious. I thought Republicans were supposed to be the tough guys.
“Didn’t tell the American people the truth” McCain snivelled. Uh, John. He told us that he was going to do what he had to do to get elected. It’s possible that he didn’t tell you the truth about taking public financing. More fool you, sucker. So now you’re counting your pennies, while Obama is free to swamp your message. I love it.
It should be said that I don’t know for sure if Obama double-crossed McCain or not. And I don’t really care. Actually, I do care. I hope that he did double cross McCain. I hope he burned McCain like a match.
There’s a sports saying that goes “if you ain’t cheating, you ain’t trying.” After watching Gore and Kerry take the high road to electoral defeat, I’m glad we have another Democrat that is trying to win, and willing to do everything that means. Including cheat. Especially cheat. After the dirty tricks that Republicans pull every four years with voter registration lists and robo-calls and character assassinations, a little Democratic cheating only means we're playing the same game.
Also, I want to see some dirt inside Obama, just so I’ll know he’s for real. A genuine goody-two-shoes is beyond my capacity to comprehend. But a fake goody-two-shoes exterior that hides a shrewd, calculating, ruthless interior? That I understand. And approve. In fact, it's starting to give me a warm tingly feeling in my stomach.
For me, a vote for Barrack is a vote against John McCain and the Republican party. That is enough.
For some reason I don’t get a warm and tingly feeling in my tummy when I listen to Barrack speak. Never have. Even though so many of the people who I agree with and love and respect do get that feeling.
Truth be told, listening to him speak actually makes me like him less. He seems too good, too earnest, too squeaky-clean and upright and honorable to be true. I got a bit excited when I learned, early in the primary, that he smoked cigarettes. “Yes” I thought, “a flaw. Something dirty and stupid and self-destructive and weak. How he's more like me. Now I can relate.” Then he quit smoking.
Maybe I’m cynical, or simply too morally compromised myself to recognize a genuine idealist when I see one. But when I am listening to one of his speeches --- or attempting to read one of his books --- it just sounds too much like myself when I’m trying to impress an old lady.
And I think even the most fervent supporter should be able to admit --- even if only privately, in the secrecy of their own Prius with all the windows rolled up --- that if someone doesn’t get that tingle from Obama's words, then Obama doesn’t offer a whole lot else.
His resume, though impressive in its accomplishments, is thin. Let's just be honest and admit that.
If the Republicans have gotten traction out of any message, it is that we don’t know who this guy is. Because we don’t. He hasn’t been around for decades to become a known and familiar quality.
He spoke at the Democratic Convention in 2004, won the Senate Race in 2006 and didn't really get scrutinized until Spring of 2008.
What’s more, even as we have seen him, we still don’t know him. His policies are vague, amorphous promises to do everything good and nothing bad. His political philosophy is middle-of-the-road, let's-bridge-differences, can't-we-all-get-along blandness.
During his tightly-scripted campaign appearances, he hasn’t revealed much of psyche to us. Ever. Nothing seems to to jangle his nerves or dislodge that smile. Not once has emotion --- joy, frustration or anger --- get the better of his self-control in some sort of physical way. No tears. No pulsing veins in the temple. No spontaneous fist-pumps. Not when his old pastor stabbed him in the back. Not when he went to visit his “gravely ill” grandmother. Not when he accepted the freaking Democratic nomination for the President of the United States.
Compared to the incredible mass of tics and grimaces and eyerolls that McCain has become, this calm is reassuring. But still, Obama’s calm affability keeps his character hidden from us, as does his campaign's SuperGlue adherence the official campaign message.
That’s why, for me, the campaign is doubly important. Not only does it hopefully move a Democrat into the White House, but it gives us a real --- so far the only real --- insight into how Barrack Obama operates.
And I like what I see so far.
Like how he has tricked McCain and turned him into a whining crying little bitch-baby.
From Politico.com
Obama’s move to blanket multiple channels less than a week before the election was made possible by his decision to forgo participation in the public financing system for presidential campaigns.
The campaign spent between $4 million and $5 million to air the ad on NBC, CBS, Fox News and several other cable channels. McCain stayed within the public financing system, and has been limited to a budget of $85 million. In contrast, Obama raised $150 million in September alone.
Appearing Wednesday on CNN’s “Larry King Live,” McCain said the infomercial was “paid for with broken promises.” Obama “didn’t tell the American people the truth” when he claimed during the primary that he would negotiate in good faith on a course to public financing, he said.
I fucking love it. To somehow get the Republican party candidate to voluntarily give up the one advantage it perennially has --- the ability to raise lots of cash. That’s awesome.
And to see McCain reduced to whining about it to Larry King. Delicious. I thought Republicans were supposed to be the tough guys.
“Didn’t tell the American people the truth” McCain snivelled. Uh, John. He told us that he was going to do what he had to do to get elected. It’s possible that he didn’t tell you the truth about taking public financing. More fool you, sucker. So now you’re counting your pennies, while Obama is free to swamp your message. I love it.
It should be said that I don’t know for sure if Obama double-crossed McCain or not. And I don’t really care. Actually, I do care. I hope that he did double cross McCain. I hope he burned McCain like a match.
There’s a sports saying that goes “if you ain’t cheating, you ain’t trying.” After watching Gore and Kerry take the high road to electoral defeat, I’m glad we have another Democrat that is trying to win, and willing to do everything that means. Including cheat. Especially cheat. After the dirty tricks that Republicans pull every four years with voter registration lists and robo-calls and character assassinations, a little Democratic cheating only means we're playing the same game.
Also, I want to see some dirt inside Obama, just so I’ll know he’s for real. A genuine goody-two-shoes is beyond my capacity to comprehend. But a fake goody-two-shoes exterior that hides a shrewd, calculating, ruthless interior? That I understand. And approve. In fact, it's starting to give me a warm tingly feeling in my stomach.
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
fbomber standup
This Presidential election has taken an ugly racial turn lately. John McCain has changed his campaign slogan to "America: Do You Really Want to 'Never Go Back?'"
Friday, October 17, 2008
Plumber? More like Joe the Stupid Lying Law-Breaking Asshole
First off, I’ll confess that I did not watch or listen to the entire third Presidential debate. I tried, but was too saddened and put off by McCain’s feverish and pathetic aggressiveness to finish.
Jesus. I haven’t seen a white guy go after a black guy so hard since the Kimbo Slice fight.* From what I did see, McCain never managed to land a punch like that pink-haired MMA dude did, though. As mad as McCain was, Obama shrugged off the old man’s palsied jabs with the confidence of a fighter who knows that he’s so far ahead on points that he only needs to avoid getting knocked out to win the fight.
Still. The entire spectacle of McCain grimacing and clenching his increasingly deformed jaw while compressing his wattle-y old turkey-neck --- viewed in High Def --- was so stomach-turning that I watched some Tivo’d segments of “CSI: Miami” with a friend instead. Meaning --- astoundingly --- that compared to John McCain, David Caruso was the lesser douchebag of the night.
I should have kept watching the debate though. Because it looks I missed the emergence of the next shining political star for the Republicans. The clear favorite to be the bottom half of the Sarah Palin for President ticket in 2012.
Apparently, the final Presidential debate was really a debut party for the arrogant loser full-of-shit cocksucker called “Joe the Plumber.” For those who also missed the unveiling of America’s future VP --- one even more intellectually unqualified and personally repugnant than Governor Moose-fucker herself --- here’s the story.
While out on the hustings in Toledo, Obama happened upon this unmarried 34-year old toilet-unplugger, who was in his yard playing football with his 13-year-old son.
Joe took this chance to go up to the next President of the United States and pour some of the steaming pile of ca-ca in his bald head out through his mouth --- starting with this accusation, phrased as a question:
"I’m getting ready to buy a company that makes $250,000 to $280,000 a year. Your new tax plan is going to tax me more, isn’t it?"The ever-gracious, ever-patient, almost painfully-earnest Obama proceeded to give Joe a very long, detailed, respectful answer to this question. An answer that visibly bounced off the dipshit Joe’s doughy, moronic, slit-eyed face as his weak brain grasped and fumbled for the next Fox-News-fed talking point he would poop out of his slack mouth-anus.
You could almost see him visibly relax when he finally got a firm mental hold of the next buzzword he was going to blindly excrete at the high-pressure jet of intelligence directed at him.
Twice that happened, with Joe’s contribution to the exchange being a look of stubborn, unsubdued, unashamed ignorance and the meager shit-pellets of a mumbled “American Dream” and “flat tax.” Shit-pellets that were so quickly swept away by the force of Obama’s considered, thoughtful, detailed hydrant-blast of information that they hardly left their stench of stupidity in the air.
Here, you can watch the hose-down for yourself:
Still, even those tiny, stinking little shit-pellets were enough to make Joe a hero to the Right. First over at Fox News, who raised this nobody to icon status as an entrepreneur emperiled by the socialistic schemes of Barack Obama. Then John McCain himself, who bandied Joe the Plumber’s name about in the debate, causing it to be mentioned two dozen times in total. Joe then went on some Fox News show himself. Katie Couric interviewed him. Fortune Magazine wrote an article entitled “McCain's best hope: Joe the plumber.”
The next logical step is for this guy to join the next Republican ticket. After all --- as a further investigation of Joe the Plumber proves --- he meets all the current requirements for a brilliant GOP career.
+++
1. He is a complete liar. For starters, his first name isn’t even Joe. It’s Sam. Samuel Joseph Wurzelbacher. Wurzelbacher I can understand dropping. It’s a fucking bitch to pronounce. But Sam? What’s wrong with Sam? Why is this guy so determined to go by an alias? Clearly, he loves to lie so much, that he can't even say his OWN NAME with any honesty.
2. He is delusional. According to his boss, who Joe/Sam was supposedly going to buy this business from, the only time they discussed this potential transaction --- the one that Joe/Sam thought important enough to personally critique a United States Senator’s proposed tax plan over --- was SIX FUCKING YEARS AGO. DURING THEIR INITIAL JOB INTERVIEW. Since then, there have been no negotiations, no assessments, no discussion of transfer terms. In other word, when Joe/Sam said that he was “getting ready to buy” a business what he meant was that he was thinking about it. To himself.
Well, fuck-a-duck, Sammy. I’m thinking about importing a freight-container full of 18-year-old sex-slaves from Eastern Europe. Sometimes I think about it half a Kleenex box worth a day. That doesn’t mean that the next time Obama comes canvassing my block I’m going to harangue him to legalize prostitution and human trafficking statutes to better suit my fantasies.
3. He can’t fucking add up numbers. The business Sammy was thinking about buying --- a two-person outfit named Newell Plumbing and Heating Co. of Toledo --- only makes a net profit of somewhere between $100 - $200k per year.
Given what we’ve seen of Sam/Joe so far, even if he ever does buy the business --- a gargantuan “if” --- I think it’s safe to say that he’s not the kind of businessman who’s going to raise their revenue by 25-150% anytime soon. So the whole higher-taxes-over-$250k wouldn’t even apply to him.
4. He thinks that he does not need to abide by the law. Even though the county where he lives requires plumbers to be licensed, neither he or his employer possess this needed credential. The local plumbers union says that he applied for an apprenticeship in 2003, but “never completed the work.” So, apparently, Joe/Sam thinks that it is okay to flaunt local professional requirements, and to perform plumbing work that may or may not abide by the relevant building codes… because, well, he’s Joe/Sam, that’s why.
What’s more, he doesn’t seem to want to pay his hospital bills or tax bills. He’s had two liens taken out against him for $1100 apiece for nonpayment of those pesky little expenses he incurred and subsequently ignored.
5. He is --- let’s just say --- a bit insensitive to some obvious racial issues. Obama, instead of ignoring Joe/Sam like the ignorant little shit-stirrer that he is, paid him the respect of addressing his truculently phrased question as if it were an honest request for information. A request that he fulfilled with a deluge of facts, figures and philosophical justifications regarding his proposed tax plan.
Joe/Sam not only visibly hardened himself against hearing --- much less understanding and processing that answer --- but later characterized it as “a tap dance.” One that, he said, was “almost as good as Sammy Davis Jr.”
Sammy Davis Jr.? Tap dancing? Um, Sam/Joe, you do realize that you are talking about a black man here? Sammy Davis Jr. and tap dancing might not be the appropriate metaphor to use. Tap dancing in particular carries some subtle and historical negative racial connotations of minstrel and blackface shows.
Why not just go straight for a set of breakdance, rap and fried chicken references and be done with it, Joe/Sam? With a watermelon and malt liquor chaser while you're at it? Why hold back?
+++
So there we have it. Mean. Stupid. Dishonest. Criminal. Living in an ideologically-pure fantasy world. And despite all these shortcomings, breath-takingly arrogant. Even in the face of all his intellectual, legal and social deficits, this colossal jackass has the clanking, swinging balls to believe that he can legitimately engage in intellectual debate with someone who is so obviously and publicly his superior in every possible way.
Sound like anyone we know? Actually that’s a trick question. It sounds like every successful Republican Presidential candidate ever. Fuck VP. Fuck waiting until 2012. I'm shocked that the Republicans don’t ditch McCain and run Joe on the top slot right now.
----
* The fbomber hates to bandy ethnic generalizations around, but has to point out that this Presidential race has turned traditional racial stereotypes on their head.
In his quest to be President, Obama has conducted himself with stereotypical characteristics of older white males: He has been methodical, rational, organized and disciplined nearly to the point of dullness.
By contrast, John McCain has shown the characteristics that racists commonly apply to younger black men: Untrustworthiness. Poor impulse control. Aggressiveness. And a lifelong obsession with fucking blond women.
Saturday, October 04, 2008
Lazy, Half-Assed Blog Posting
I received an email from a Republican friend (yes, I have some) who said, in essence:
1. He thought McCain won the first Presidential Debate.
2. Sarah Palin is a joke.
3. Obama, who he respects as a person, reminds him of Carter, who he also respects as a person. But that Carter was crushed by world events, and he fears Obama would be too.
4. McCain reminds him of Reagan, and we need a Reagan more than a Carter in this dangerous world.
5. The fbomber is hilarious, and bound for great success as a standup comedian.
My response:
I thought McCain came out on top of the debate with Obama as well. He didn't look obviously overmatched by Obama's famed rhetorical brilliance.% McCain kept it simple, he hit the same emotional buttons over and over, he was aggressive and gave the impression of victory. Since I don't know the rules of debate, and these things are purely theater anyway, that seemed like enough to make up a victory for McCain. I was actually quite discouraged by the debate.
Later, though, analysis seemed to point out that the debates helped Obama in the places he needed it... independents and undecideds. Turns out, his campaign brains didn't want the debate to make raving Dems like me feel good at watching McCain's nose rubbed in shit. They wanted the fence-sitters to see that Obama could appear Presidential. Mission accomplished there.*
This made me realize that Obama and his strategists are really two or three steps ahead of me on this thing, effectively planning and cleanly executing the very delicate and complicated set of dance steps they've determined can win this election for him. That, more than anything else, has turned me slowly from a Obama tolerator to a reluctant yet ever-warming Obama supporter. If^ he could bring the same level of analysis, intelligence, preparation and execution into the office as he brought into the campaign, I would be happy with how he handled the job.
That's the place I'm at now. Intelligence, competence and seriousness are enough for me.+
By contrast, John McCain's behavior and decisions of this campaign radiate the qualities diametrically opposed to intelligence, competence and seriousness. He's not stupid, but clearly he doesn't put a lot of weight on analysis and investigation before he makes a decision. He certainly doesn't seem to have a solid, workable campaign plan that he's determined to follow. And his surprise pick of a controversial, unqualified nobody like Sarah Palin as a running mate shows that he doesn't really respect the consequences of this race beyond getting into the office.
So you think McCain is another "go with the gut" guy, like Bush II and your icon Reagan.** And Obama is another "in his head" guy like Carter, Bush I, Woodrow Wilson, et al.
Even if you are mistaken, and Obama turns out to be a combo head and gut guy --- like JFK and my icon, Clinton## --- I'm okay with a head guy.
I think that smart, principled, strategic thinking what we need right now --- even more than the ability to make great snap decisions.
We can't predict or prepare for theoretical, unforeseen events that might need an instantaneous response.
But we can analyze our present, real and pressing crisis. And choose someone with the skills and temperament to address it.
Our biggest current problem is that we are buried in a concentric circle of ruins --- economic, military, diplomatic ---- and first need to dig ourselves out.
Then we need to intelligently, strategically and competently reorder our house so that it doesn't collapse so completely again. In this scenario, I want to be headed up by someone who likes to take measurements and draw up blueprints, as opposed to someone who eyeballs where to throw up some walls. Or, worse yet, is determined to continue the same demolition activities that collapsed our home in the first place.
Thing is, whatever events transpire, whoever gets elected next is going to have to focus most of his attention on rebuilding anyway.
After all, being able to effectively respond to the kind of world events that get thrown our way depends on getting our ruins cleared away as cleanly and quickly as possible.
So even if one accepts your premise that President McCain would react more coolly and decisively (Reaganesquely?) in a crisis that occurs after January 20th^^ his reaction would be constrained by the economic, military and diplomatic wreckage George W. Bush created --- i.e. we're broke, our military is overstretched, everyone hates us.
Since McCain doesn't even pretend to have a plan to clear that rubble, that's where we would stay, no matter how putatively brilliant his response from the gut.
That's not acceptable to me.
---
% Funny how everyone, from pundits to the public, grades Republicans on the curve in debates. Like we automatically assume the Democrat is smarter and better at having, expressing and defending his or her ideas. All the Republican has to do is not be humiliated to be able to claim a victory.
It’s like Democrats are competing to beat real Olympics times, but Republicans only have to beat Special Olympics standards to get the medal. Which should effectively topple the fantasy that Republicans are the party that believes in rewarding individual merit and achievement. They have no problem with affirmative action, or the soft bigotry of low expectations --- as long as they give stupider, whiter, richer, more religiously fanatic people a leg up.
*Obama's measured, respectful, friendly performance was also smart for other, uglier reasons. As much as I would have loved to see a Democrat forcefully inflicting grievous injuries on a Republican, there is an optics issue to consider. I suspect that for many people in this nation, the sight of a younger, blacker man exhibiting anger towards an older, whiter man would create a sense of discomfort.
^ This is an enormous “if.” But since this Obama has succeeded at every other thing he’s had to do so far, it's no stretch to believe that he can pull this off, too. Obama seems to be the luckiest guy I’ve ever seen in my life. So lucky that it can’t be just luck. Nobody can be this lucky. He’s got to be good, too.
+The evil variety, as exemplified by Dick Cheney, does not count.
** The love for Reagan is one of those blind spots I have in relation to other guys my age, kind of like Fantasy Football, which I think is just taking watching sports and giving yourself homework.
I just don't fucking get what was so great about that guy. To me, everything he said sounded great. But he wore black shoe polish in his hair and more rouge than my Aunt Ezma. And everything he did was either stupid (Star Wars defense system) or destructive (cut taxes + raise spending) or mean (firing Air Traffic Controllers) or uselessly theatrical (invade Grenada) or some combination of those things.
Is simply saying the right things good enough to achieve Legend status? I guess so. He is known as "The Great Communicator" not "The Great Chief Executive." So also falls the fiction of Republicans being about substance rather than appearance.
As for his goading of the Soviet Union through insulting rhetoric and deficit spending to fatally blow their budget on weapons slightly before we blew ours... I will concede that the stupid, inflexible, vain, incurious, simple-minded, lazy, callous, naive, remote, self-absorbed Ronald Reagan was a broken clock that turned out to be right exactly one time. But that is as far as I will go.
## Peace. Prosperity. Sloppy, fat-girl blowjobs. Really, what's not to like?
^^ A supposition not borne out by his campaign behavior, by the way. Campaign off. Campaign on. Debate off. Debate on. Fly into DC. Fly out of DC. All over a fucking bill in Congress he didn't even contribute to. How many more pallets of Depends would he have gone through over something that actually needed his input?
1. He thought McCain won the first Presidential Debate.
2. Sarah Palin is a joke.
3. Obama, who he respects as a person, reminds him of Carter, who he also respects as a person. But that Carter was crushed by world events, and he fears Obama would be too.
4. McCain reminds him of Reagan, and we need a Reagan more than a Carter in this dangerous world.
5. The fbomber is hilarious, and bound for great success as a standup comedian.
My response:
I thought McCain came out on top of the debate with Obama as well. He didn't look obviously overmatched by Obama's famed rhetorical brilliance.% McCain kept it simple, he hit the same emotional buttons over and over, he was aggressive and gave the impression of victory. Since I don't know the rules of debate, and these things are purely theater anyway, that seemed like enough to make up a victory for McCain. I was actually quite discouraged by the debate.
Later, though, analysis seemed to point out that the debates helped Obama in the places he needed it... independents and undecideds. Turns out, his campaign brains didn't want the debate to make raving Dems like me feel good at watching McCain's nose rubbed in shit. They wanted the fence-sitters to see that Obama could appear Presidential. Mission accomplished there.*
This made me realize that Obama and his strategists are really two or three steps ahead of me on this thing, effectively planning and cleanly executing the very delicate and complicated set of dance steps they've determined can win this election for him. That, more than anything else, has turned me slowly from a Obama tolerator to a reluctant yet ever-warming Obama supporter. If^ he could bring the same level of analysis, intelligence, preparation and execution into the office as he brought into the campaign, I would be happy with how he handled the job.
That's the place I'm at now. Intelligence, competence and seriousness are enough for me.+
By contrast, John McCain's behavior and decisions of this campaign radiate the qualities diametrically opposed to intelligence, competence and seriousness. He's not stupid, but clearly he doesn't put a lot of weight on analysis and investigation before he makes a decision. He certainly doesn't seem to have a solid, workable campaign plan that he's determined to follow. And his surprise pick of a controversial, unqualified nobody like Sarah Palin as a running mate shows that he doesn't really respect the consequences of this race beyond getting into the office.
So you think McCain is another "go with the gut" guy, like Bush II and your icon Reagan.** And Obama is another "in his head" guy like Carter, Bush I, Woodrow Wilson, et al.
Even if you are mistaken, and Obama turns out to be a combo head and gut guy --- like JFK and my icon, Clinton## --- I'm okay with a head guy.
I think that smart, principled, strategic thinking what we need right now --- even more than the ability to make great snap decisions.
We can't predict or prepare for theoretical, unforeseen events that might need an instantaneous response.
But we can analyze our present, real and pressing crisis. And choose someone with the skills and temperament to address it.
Our biggest current problem is that we are buried in a concentric circle of ruins --- economic, military, diplomatic ---- and first need to dig ourselves out.
Then we need to intelligently, strategically and competently reorder our house so that it doesn't collapse so completely again. In this scenario, I want to be headed up by someone who likes to take measurements and draw up blueprints, as opposed to someone who eyeballs where to throw up some walls. Or, worse yet, is determined to continue the same demolition activities that collapsed our home in the first place.
Thing is, whatever events transpire, whoever gets elected next is going to have to focus most of his attention on rebuilding anyway.
After all, being able to effectively respond to the kind of world events that get thrown our way depends on getting our ruins cleared away as cleanly and quickly as possible.
So even if one accepts your premise that President McCain would react more coolly and decisively (Reaganesquely?) in a crisis that occurs after January 20th^^ his reaction would be constrained by the economic, military and diplomatic wreckage George W. Bush created --- i.e. we're broke, our military is overstretched, everyone hates us.
Since McCain doesn't even pretend to have a plan to clear that rubble, that's where we would stay, no matter how putatively brilliant his response from the gut.
That's not acceptable to me.
---
% Funny how everyone, from pundits to the public, grades Republicans on the curve in debates. Like we automatically assume the Democrat is smarter and better at having, expressing and defending his or her ideas. All the Republican has to do is not be humiliated to be able to claim a victory.
It’s like Democrats are competing to beat real Olympics times, but Republicans only have to beat Special Olympics standards to get the medal. Which should effectively topple the fantasy that Republicans are the party that believes in rewarding individual merit and achievement. They have no problem with affirmative action, or the soft bigotry of low expectations --- as long as they give stupider, whiter, richer, more religiously fanatic people a leg up.
*Obama's measured, respectful, friendly performance was also smart for other, uglier reasons. As much as I would have loved to see a Democrat forcefully inflicting grievous injuries on a Republican, there is an optics issue to consider. I suspect that for many people in this nation, the sight of a younger, blacker man exhibiting anger towards an older, whiter man would create a sense of discomfort.
^ This is an enormous “if.” But since this Obama has succeeded at every other thing he’s had to do so far, it's no stretch to believe that he can pull this off, too. Obama seems to be the luckiest guy I’ve ever seen in my life. So lucky that it can’t be just luck. Nobody can be this lucky. He’s got to be good, too.
+The evil variety, as exemplified by Dick Cheney, does not count.
** The love for Reagan is one of those blind spots I have in relation to other guys my age, kind of like Fantasy Football, which I think is just taking watching sports and giving yourself homework.
I just don't fucking get what was so great about that guy. To me, everything he said sounded great. But he wore black shoe polish in his hair and more rouge than my Aunt Ezma. And everything he did was either stupid (Star Wars defense system) or destructive (cut taxes + raise spending) or mean (firing Air Traffic Controllers) or uselessly theatrical (invade Grenada) or some combination of those things.
Is simply saying the right things good enough to achieve Legend status? I guess so. He is known as "The Great Communicator" not "The Great Chief Executive." So also falls the fiction of Republicans being about substance rather than appearance.
As for his goading of the Soviet Union through insulting rhetoric and deficit spending to fatally blow their budget on weapons slightly before we blew ours... I will concede that the stupid, inflexible, vain, incurious, simple-minded, lazy, callous, naive, remote, self-absorbed Ronald Reagan was a broken clock that turned out to be right exactly one time. But that is as far as I will go.
## Peace. Prosperity. Sloppy, fat-girl blowjobs. Really, what's not to like?
^^ A supposition not borne out by his campaign behavior, by the way. Campaign off. Campaign on. Debate off. Debate on. Fly into DC. Fly out of DC. All over a fucking bill in Congress he didn't even contribute to. How many more pallets of Depends would he have gone through over something that actually needed his input?
Friday, September 26, 2008
McCain: Losing It?
As this campaign progresses, the fbomber continues to be more and more impressed by Barrack Obama's composure. Nothing seems to phase the man and ruffle his good natured cool.
Apparently, this is not only a reflection of his natural temperament but a deliberate campaign choice designed to highlight his capacity to function effectively under pressure. The fbomber has heard that his unofficial campaign mantra is "No Drama Obama."
This is in dramatic contrast to McCain, who has adopted the unofficial slogan of "Insane in the Membrane."
The fbomber is actually becoming worried about McCain. He's only seen one other person melt down so dramatically in the public eye.
Much like this other person, McCain has:
1) Abandoned his previous beliefs and morals.
2) Become BFFs with a snotty bitch.
3) Proven erratic and completely undependable about scheduled responsibilities.
Basically, the fbomber fears that McCain is a single head-shaving and beaver-shot away from pulling "a full Britney."
Apparently, this is not only a reflection of his natural temperament but a deliberate campaign choice designed to highlight his capacity to function effectively under pressure. The fbomber has heard that his unofficial campaign mantra is "No Drama Obama."
This is in dramatic contrast to McCain, who has adopted the unofficial slogan of "Insane in the Membrane."
The fbomber is actually becoming worried about McCain. He's only seen one other person melt down so dramatically in the public eye.
Much like this other person, McCain has:
1) Abandoned his previous beliefs and morals.
2) Become BFFs with a snotty bitch.
3) Proven erratic and completely undependable about scheduled responsibilities.
Basically, the fbomber fears that McCain is a single head-shaving and beaver-shot away from pulling "a full Britney."
Sunday, September 07, 2008
The fbomber Told You So, Part I
In this article, "5 Myths About Those Civic-Minded, Deeply Informed Voters", Washington Post writer Rick Shenkman confirms many of the fbomber's theories about American voters*, but without resorting to overbroad generalizations, scatological analogies, scurrilous accusations, gratuitous insults, misogynistic rantings, a gross distortion of facts or a graph drawn on the back of an index card.
Yeah, I know. Bor-ing!
To summarize (and chime in):
1. American voters are Dumb, Dumb, Dumb. (Where's Iraq? Who's Karl Marx? What war was the Battle of Bunker Hill fought in? Don't ask Americans. Ask wikipedians**)
2. Conservative voters are not necessarily more dumb than liberal voters. (The study did not measure Meanness levels.)
3. Even if you give American voters the facts, they will still draw the wrong conclusions. (This should come as no surprise, in a country where half the population still believes in Creationism, despite being forcibly exposed to Evolution countless times during their journey through the educational system)
4. Voters are as Dumb as ever, and maybe even Dumber, despite rising educational levels. (A cursory viewing of the "Girls Gone Wild: Spring Break" documentary series should explain why a college degree need not automatically result in higher intellectual achievements.)
5. Young people don't follow the news, really, at all. (Facebook Status Updates, apparently, do not count.)
So what? So --- the fbomber repeats --- attempts to reach American voters through their heads are going to fail to engage the broader electorate. If Darwinism can't penetrate our thick skulls after 100 years, do you think that Obamanomics has a chance in 7 weeks?
Democrats have got to generate stronger emotions from American guts.
And not just the positive, happy, warm, hopeful emotions I watched being created in Denver either. Those emotions are nice, but fbomber has far too often watched them get beat up and hand their lunch money over to the uglier emotions of greed, fear and hate inside the election booth.
The McCain strategy coalesced late and is disjointed, but it is very powerful. I'll call it the High-Low-Fear approach.
At the High end, McCain's biography and history makes a convincing case to Sweet and Dumb Swing voters that he won't do ALL the stupid things Bush did. That he's a Maverick. That he's Competent. That he's a Reformer. That he's a Lifelong Public Servant, and Oh Yeah, One More Thing, A War Hero.
At the Low end, McCain's concessions to the Hard Right on war and taxes--- plus his pick of Hockey Mom*** Sarah Palin --- energize the Mean half of the voting spectrum, both Smart and Dumb.
Underneath it all, like a steady, throbbing bass beat, the Fear message --- Obama is young, he is inexperienced, we don't know him, he's kind of different from most of us, he doesn't kick ass, he's naive, he's not ready, he can't execute, he can't protect us --- will depress and demotivate support for Obama across the board.
Democrats have got to generate some fear themselves. Fear that McCain is too Old, too Crazy, to Angry, and too Unhealthy for the job. Fear that he'll continue the Worst and Stupidest of the Republican policies. Fear that Sarah Palin might wind up in the Oval Office, and make us nostalgic for the last eight years when we only had someone pretending to be a redneck in the White House.
Democrats have to generate enough fear to make the Smartest and Nicest of the Dumb & Mean people doubt their allegiance to McCain, and stay home on Election Day. And to make the Sweet & Dumb Swing Voters of America so afraid of a McCain/Palin victory that they go vote for Obama. Or, at the very least, don't go vote for McCain. Or at the very, very least NOT go to vote against Obama.
---
* The fbomber is not one of these self-hating Americans who believes that Americans are inherently stupider, greedier, meaner, lazier and more fearful than other nations. He is a self-hating American who believes that these elements are distributed more or less evenly throughout the entire human race. He does note, however, that American culture tends to glorify and actually revel in these characteristics more than any other nation he has seen. And that Americans, in fact, appear to willfully confuse these faults with virtues.
** Some might quibble that this characterization was based on measuring what someone knows, not their capability to learn and perform. So more accurately measures interests, not intelligence. A person uninterested in politics might score very low on this test, but be extremely informed and capable in other matters more relevant to daily life.
To which the fbomber responds: Nice try, dummy. Kicking ass in Grand Theft Auto: Liberty City does not count as having "street smarts."
*** Living in Southern California, the fbomber is unfamiliar with this taxonomic classification and hasn't yet had it clearly defined for him yet. As best he can tell, it's just like a soccer mom, but a complete cunt.
Yeah, I know. Bor-ing!
To summarize (and chime in):
1. American voters are Dumb, Dumb, Dumb. (Where's Iraq? Who's Karl Marx? What war was the Battle of Bunker Hill fought in? Don't ask Americans. Ask wikipedians**)
2. Conservative voters are not necessarily more dumb than liberal voters. (The study did not measure Meanness levels.)
3. Even if you give American voters the facts, they will still draw the wrong conclusions. (This should come as no surprise, in a country where half the population still believes in Creationism, despite being forcibly exposed to Evolution countless times during their journey through the educational system)
4. Voters are as Dumb as ever, and maybe even Dumber, despite rising educational levels. (A cursory viewing of the "Girls Gone Wild: Spring Break" documentary series should explain why a college degree need not automatically result in higher intellectual achievements.)
5. Young people don't follow the news, really, at all. (Facebook Status Updates, apparently, do not count.)
So what? So --- the fbomber repeats --- attempts to reach American voters through their heads are going to fail to engage the broader electorate. If Darwinism can't penetrate our thick skulls after 100 years, do you think that Obamanomics has a chance in 7 weeks?
Democrats have got to generate stronger emotions from American guts.
And not just the positive, happy, warm, hopeful emotions I watched being created in Denver either. Those emotions are nice, but fbomber has far too often watched them get beat up and hand their lunch money over to the uglier emotions of greed, fear and hate inside the election booth.
The McCain strategy coalesced late and is disjointed, but it is very powerful. I'll call it the High-Low-Fear approach.
At the High end, McCain's biography and history makes a convincing case to Sweet and Dumb Swing voters that he won't do ALL the stupid things Bush did. That he's a Maverick. That he's Competent. That he's a Reformer. That he's a Lifelong Public Servant, and Oh Yeah, One More Thing, A War Hero.
At the Low end, McCain's concessions to the Hard Right on war and taxes--- plus his pick of Hockey Mom*** Sarah Palin --- energize the Mean half of the voting spectrum, both Smart and Dumb.
Underneath it all, like a steady, throbbing bass beat, the Fear message --- Obama is young, he is inexperienced, we don't know him, he's kind of different from most of us, he doesn't kick ass, he's naive, he's not ready, he can't execute, he can't protect us --- will depress and demotivate support for Obama across the board.
Democrats have got to generate some fear themselves. Fear that McCain is too Old, too Crazy, to Angry, and too Unhealthy for the job. Fear that he'll continue the Worst and Stupidest of the Republican policies. Fear that Sarah Palin might wind up in the Oval Office, and make us nostalgic for the last eight years when we only had someone pretending to be a redneck in the White House.
Democrats have to generate enough fear to make the Smartest and Nicest of the Dumb & Mean people doubt their allegiance to McCain, and stay home on Election Day. And to make the Sweet & Dumb Swing Voters of America so afraid of a McCain/Palin victory that they go vote for Obama. Or, at the very least, don't go vote for McCain. Or at the very, very least NOT go to vote against Obama.
---
* The fbomber is not one of these self-hating Americans who believes that Americans are inherently stupider, greedier, meaner, lazier and more fearful than other nations. He is a self-hating American who believes that these elements are distributed more or less evenly throughout the entire human race. He does note, however, that American culture tends to glorify and actually revel in these characteristics more than any other nation he has seen. And that Americans, in fact, appear to willfully confuse these faults with virtues.
** Some might quibble that this characterization was based on measuring what someone knows, not their capability to learn and perform. So more accurately measures interests, not intelligence. A person uninterested in politics might score very low on this test, but be extremely informed and capable in other matters more relevant to daily life.
To which the fbomber responds: Nice try, dummy. Kicking ass in Grand Theft Auto: Liberty City does not count as having "street smarts."
*** Living in Southern California, the fbomber is unfamiliar with this taxonomic classification and hasn't yet had it clearly defined for him yet. As best he can tell, it's just like a soccer mom, but a complete cunt.
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